Fair Enough

Last time I was talking about Underworld and their work on the 2012 Olympics. Ages ago now, I know, but anyway; do you know which was my favourite moment from that whole summer of games?
It was this -


My heart swelled with national pride. Booing George Osbourne at any point is, of course, the correct response. But, to boo him during the oasis of pure, unadulterated good-naturedness that was the Paralympics? At that moment, it was the most appropriate act a human being could undertake.

By some hideous, seemingly impossible twist of fate, the UK has ended up with a Tory government again. I know the election was a few years ago now, but it shows my level of incomprehension at the fact that it has taken me this long to comment on it.

I could say that it was the recent death of Thatcher which has brought about this current appraisal, but that would not be true. I started writing this piece before she shuffled off. In fact, the announcement seemed to stall my thought processes for a time.

What is it with the Tories? Specifically these Tories, this time around. Let's see, shall we?
Check this out -

Mister Terrific & Mister Terrific

Meet Mister Terrific! The white guy at the back is the original, "Golden Age" version of the character, who first appeared in 1941. The black guy in front is the contemporary version, originating in 1997 and still in evidence in the more obscure fringes of the DC Comics multiverse today.

(Yeah, alright. Bear with me. It takes a while to sort this stuff out, OK?)

Known as 'The Man Of a Thousand Talents'; Mister Terrific (in both his incarnations) possesses no super powers. He is an Olympic level athlete, he is a master of martial arts and is a certified genius (the current Terrific describes himself as the world's 'Third Smartest Man', although he has never said who's first or second). He is a self-made multimillionaire. Basically, he's like a more chipper, non-goth, non-posh Batman.
At the age of 42, I have come to accept that by now, my preoccupation with the superhero isn't going anywhere. Subsequently, I've come to the conclusion that there is a metaphysical element to this preoccupation.  The superhero archetype is, for me, about hope, altruism and moral conviction whilst dressing in absurdly gaudy clothing. Mister Terrific, in both his incarnations, sums all this up at a glance.

Classically, superheroes wear a symbol of a glyph on their chest or belt or wherever; a 'brand' for their particular style of crusade. Superman has a shield to protect us all from harm. Batman has a silhouette to strike fear into the hearts of evil doers. Mister Terrific has the words 'Fair Play'.

'Fair Play' has to be a universally understood mission statement. It's one of the earliest pieces of social awareness anyone is taught - Take turns. Look after your sister/brother/friend. Make sure everyone gets a go. Share your toys, your sweets. Don't forget to look out for the smaller kids, the shy ones. Make sure they get to have a go too. Don't cheat. Play fair. It's an essential part of a human being's hard-wiring in order to be a functioning member of society.

Now, in order to become a Tory, somewhere along the line, this wiring must get tampered with. For those born into wealth, adhering to the notion of 'fairness', on a larger scale, would mean giving up the advantages they acquired by pure chance. Who's to say that redistributing the wealth more evenly would really be the best thing for everybody? We don't want to rock the boat, do we? We need to conserve the status quo.

You can see how they justify it to themselves, can't you? It's vile, but you can see where it comes from.

Look at this -

IDS does NLP!

Yes, it's failed former Tory leader, failed novelist, CV fantasist and current (failing) Work & Pensions Secretary, Iain Duncan Smith. Listen to his mantra!

'Fairness.'

It's not just him, it's the whole Downing Street cabal of unelected, privately-educated millionaires that are dropping the F word into every other sentence. I find it utterly reprehensible. I don't remember Thatcher ever talking about 'fairness'. She had no interest in even attempting to make things 'fair'. Of course, neither do this current incarnation of Tory, they are just repeating the lie often enough, so it becomes 'true'.

In the late 90's I was searching for an idea for a new tattoo. Something that evoked my idealism and also to remind me of it, during the times I'd forget or didn't feel it. My brother had made me this brilliant bust of the classic Mister Terrific for Christmas, a few years previous and it became my inspiration.
 'Fair Play' has child-like simplicity (some might say naivety) that suited the vibe I was going for. So, I tweaked the letters into a tag and had it etched onto my spine (ouch). An affirmation made flesh.

My 'Fair Play' Tattoo

Terrific bust (heh)

This new breed of Tory has found its own, new, personal way for me to despise them. Not content with merely possessing a repugnant, self-serving ethos at its heart or its shameful history of waging a scorched-earth class-war across the country's manufacturing industry. Its deification of the work of financial spivs, its infecting of the Labour Party, turning them into a grinning, 'New Labour' zombies, its divide-and-conquer innuendo, pitting society's marginalized against one other; none of these calamities were enough for them.

No. They had to steal my affirmation and set it to work for their deceitful cause.

A whole, new way to hate them, just for me!

Fair Play!

(PS, incidentally, when DC comics rebooted Mister Terrific in 2011, they tweaked his costume like this -

<- Look! Now he has 'Fair Play' tattooed on him too!)